Apparently mouse trails is for squares...

Sometimes life can be extremely overwhelming. This is my coping mechanism for stress. We’ll call it “Sleeping Beauty Syndrome.” When my life turns to chaos, I immediately jump into bed. Occasionally I can muster the strength for a bubble bath and soft music, but that’s only if I’m feeling up to the challenge. Lately, I’ve been sleeping a lot.

I caught some upper respiratory infection about a week ago. Everything has since cleared up, except for a hideous dry cough. It makes me sound like I’ve been chain smoking for 30 years. It’s like a tiny little man is inside my throat tickling me with a feather every time I inhale or exhale and he won’t go away.

On top of that, I recently found out that UCF won’t accept me for the fall. They’ve deferred their decision until I get my Associate’s degree. This means another seven classes and two semesters at Valencia. I just want to be finished with school already. Every time I think I’m getting close, something comes and slams me back down again. I’m 3 or 4 years older than most of the students, and that in itself is discouraging.

Earlier this week my grandmother came to visit. She stayed in my room, which meant that with this hideous cough I was “sleeping” on the floor in my sister’s room. I barely saw her while she was here, which was okay because generally she’s rude and hurtful. She ended up fighting with my dad and left early.

I’ve been to the doctor twice this month. The first visit was for blood work, the second was for the results. I hate doctors. You walk in, tell them your most embarrassing health concerns and then they act like it’s nothing. I’ve got a seriously stupid and embarrassing problem that is stressing me out beyond belief. Unfortunately they don’t really know what causes my body to act the way it does. I’ve tried a million treatments, and nothing works. Today at the doctor’s office my blood work came back normal, which is great, I suppose, except it still means that they have no idea why my body is doing what it’s doing. Needless to say this is stressing me out and causing me to run for my soft comfy bed.

So basically I’ve been having a tough week. To add to my stress, there’s someone, who I’m confident will be reading this, who won’t take no for an answer. 4 years ago I made a huge mistake, and now every so often that mistake continues to be show up in my life. It’s not so much the person that bothers me, I understand where he’s coming from and my heart goes out to him. I’m just sick of being damaged. So if you’re reading this, please respect my answer.

Drama so thick you could cut it with a knife. It’s enough to make me crawl under the covers and not come out for a month.

The silver lining in all this is that I’ve met someone who seems to always put a smile on my face. Misty the Border Collie is just about the sweetest dog imaginable. Her owner isn’t too bad either.