Sunday, June 22, 2008

It's been a while now.

Working out has pretty much gone down the drain. I'm trying to regroup and get back on track. [haha get it? track? sports joke.]

Meanwhile I feel like I'm going through writer's bootcamp. My English course started this week and already I've easily written 2,000 -3,000 words for the class. I've also started writing a play, the details of which are currently top-secret. You can see why keeping up with this blog is going to be difficult. I've also decided to worry a little less about the grammatical structure here. This blog is my playground and it doesn't have to organized or religiously spellchecked.

Meantime, I'd like to ask my petite audience what they think is the most important quality in a leader? Think about horrible bosses, great teachers, or anyone that motivated you at some point. How did they do it? [I'm reading a book on leadership right now, and it's kind of fluff stuff.] Post your responses in comment form. Thanks oddles.

Here's a copy of my first paper. I'm not sure if its technically okay to post this online, but I don't see why it wouldn't be. I wrote it, and here it is for the world to judge:

It was the hottest summer they'd seen in a long time. I could feel the thick layer of sawdust and sweat caked on every fleshy part of my body. Looking back through my shoebox of photos, I've broken the laws of physics. I am in two places at once. Having the judgmental eye of hindsight, I am hit with all of the cliché thoughts about what I was wearing and the how silly my hair looked. I can't help but wonder if my appearance, which I now judge ridiculous, acts as any kind of statement about my so-called "friends" at the time. Who would let me out of the house like that?

And yet, that isn't at all how I felt. I was doing something with my life. I was filling my most basic desire as a human being. This explains why so many other desires went unmet. I had purchased a box of microwavable French bread pizzas to get me through the week. It wasn't until day four that I realized I'd been eating garlic bread for lunch everyday. The oversight didn't bother me. I was fueling myself by other means.

Once in the middle of the night I went out for a walk. I took my camera and along the way, snapped photos of the various sites of interest. The incarnation center, which we lovingly deemed "the incarceration center," stood with the same 1970s pride it had at birth. It was our home—theirs, mine and ours, for the summer. A few miles up the dark country road, was the piano factory. As the mucus membrane of Ivoryton, Connecticut, the factory had long-since been forgotten. It stood in great ruins, beautiful. A bit further up Main Street was the library. Ivoryton library was the converted historic home of one of the town's historic residents. That is to say that both the home and its occupants remember the piano factory fondly. Browsing through the travel section, you may find a picture book on Ivoryton in its golden days, or several aged books on the general continent of Africa. I paused for a moment to consider the global map with only these two destinations. I snapped a photo and continued my journey.

The raccoons were out tonight, rummaging through a single tin can of garbage. I'd never been so close to these animals and I felt my stomach slowly falling to the ground bellow. I was overcome with the guilt of a trespasser. I imagined walking through a famous painting and becoming a nuisance to the painting's subjects. I had entered a world in which I did not belong. I quietly tiptoed away, taking great care not to smudge the scene.

A few moments later and I had arrived at my destination. Streetlights were few and far between. For the most part, the thick black sky remained one solid mass of soft darkness. I looked up to the one bright spot on Main Street. The playhouse had been well cared for over the years, so much so that it no longer fit into its surroundings. The bright bulbs around the front of the building, called out as if to scream that there was life in this sleepy village. I lifted my camera to finish the roll. I took 3 pictures, knowing I could buy a postcard in the lobby. Then I walked to the steps of the theatre and sat down. I looked out to see what the building saw, hoping it could share some stories with me. The view was disappointing. The playhouse deserved better.

A subtle wind blew, or perhaps I'm imagining it. I sat on the theatre steps and I realized that I would not always be in Ivoryton, Connecticut. I wouldn't always be protected by the theatre or the small village I'd come to know so well. I rested my head on the ground and under the theatre lights I absorbed my dollhouse world. I could feel the cells in my body dance. It felt like a family reunion. I felt like I was part of something. I was creating. I was filling a supernatural desire to create and every moment I spent near this theatre was another moment of rejuvenation and fueling for my soul. I was being prepared as an emissary into the world.

Looking back through the blurry pictures of that summer, three years later I'm still searching for that elusive feeling of accomplishment. I left something at that theatre and as I search for it, I hope that somewhere it is also searching for me.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

I don't sweat you.

I am having major punctuation issues tonight. Please forgive the 8th grade writing style that will surely follow.

Topic 1) I'm still anxiously awaiting my accounting grade. Grades were suppose to be posted today but it's almost midnight and nothing is reported as yet.

Topic 2)Grrr. Somehow, I've gained two pounds since the start of my diet and exercise regime. While I'm disappointed, I'm not defeated. I think right now, more than anything, I'm getting my lungs and heart into shape. I'm increasing my stamina and I guess that's just not something that you see immediate physical results from. Anyway more updates to follow.


Topic 3) Francis Chan's video blog. Francis Chan is a minister from California, and he is perhaps the only good thing Cali's got going on these days. [More back story on me: I've never actually spent any time in California, expect visiting an In-'n'-Out burger joint while on a road trip from OR to FL. However, I did have an extremely terrifying dream about CA that left me never ever wanting to go there again. Now let's pick up where we left off...] Francis Chan's message is not popular. He basically says "stop being lame Christians and do what you're actually suppose to do according to the Bible." I've suggested his podcasts to a friend before, and I'm pretty sure that friend of mine completely chickened out. I don't suggest that you blindly accept this guy's opinions, however; I do believe that he is extremely good at provoking thought. If you're not a chicken and can handle a little introspection and criticism, I suggest you check this guy out.

Topic 4) Teaser..."Someone asked me recently why I don't save money for emergencies, or retirement. My answer was how can I justify saving for myself "just in case" something happens to me when something IS happening to so many already." -Francis Chan's videoblog....See? Good stuff.

Topic 5) I forgot what topic five was going to be, but I'll remember and add it later today so I'm leaving space for it here.


Good Night and Good Luck

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Hummin'bird

Con Air is quite possibly the best movie ever. Start to finish, there is nothing better. I think that I could watch this movie 18 million times a day. [I used a very scientific formula to calculate that number.] As I type this I'm watching the movie on what can only be described as a sort of Japanese youtube. I love everything about this movie. Currently they're loading the plane and explaining the past of crimes of each person on board. Cameron Poe's hair is blowing in the wind as he is transported from the bus to the plane, or as he puts it, the "sweet bird of freedom." Who wouldn't love this movie?

2 much 4 1 nite

I wonder if it's possible not to find your identity in the people around you. By that I mean, I wonder if its possible to create a self image without taking into account the perspectives of others. Can someone be so confident that they truly lose all concern for outside opinions? Once you get to that point, are you self-centered? I'm sure these are not original thoughts, however; they are thoughts that keep me awake on an otherwise peaceful night.

I think time travel would be wasted on the human race. I think we are woeful enough without adding the possibility of changing every silly decision we've ever made. As a controller and planner by nature, I can only imagine the panic attacks time travel could cause someone like me.

I think people misunderstand the concept of opposites. I just looked up the word, and the definition I like the best is this: "situated in pairs on an axis with each member being separated from the other by half the circumference of the axis" Opposites are not separate entities but rather two parts of a whole. Night is not whole in itself, rather its the other side of day. Imagine a cosmos full of coins spinning through space. Day/Night is just one of the coins. What is that coin called? What is the fullness of day and its counterpart? What about the directions up and down? North and south? Halves that make a whole, but what is the name of their whole? I am short, but I'm not the opposite of tall, I'm merely a half of it. Size and direction have no true value. You could say that "I am 5ft tall and the wall is 10ft tall, therefore; the wall and I are of opposite heights, short and tall." However; just as I am a half of the 10ft it takes to make the height of the wall, the wall is also a half of me.

I'm not sure if my argument still holds its point, or if I've crossed the line into needless rambling. Thinking of a black sky filled with coins made up in equal parts of day and night, and of short and tall, and north and south, is enough to fill my imagination for the rest of the evening.

I contemplated deleting all of this, but decided against it. These are the thoughts that fill my mind when it isn't occupied with accounting.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

98%

Up very early. Lots of studying. Made a good grade. Very tired now. Off to read. In the bath. Heart of Darkness.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Monologue forthcoming

I think the most important job qualification a person can have, is the ability to judge other people. I don't mean judge in the sense of "He's a pool loser." or "She's a dumb blond." Rather, I'm talking about the ability to become a kind of chameleon around certain people, while not losing yourself completely. It's a delicate balance. You can be taught many things in life. You can learn to be a waiter, or an accountant, or a writer. But to truly be successful at these tasks you need to be able to read people.
"Is this publisher a slime ball jerk, who's going to steal from me?"

"Will these people stiff me if I bring their fries back on a separate trip?"
Learning just how much slack people will give you and then always taking just a little less than that amount,is, I think, the key to success. [I have no idea how many commas are actually needed for that statement.]

I say all this because I wish I could learn to read people. I guess it's something that comes with practice.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

I think we're alone now.

After a few days with limited to no exercise, (3 days to be exact) I thought that I had failed my fitness challenge. However, today with new determination, I made an attempt to get back on track. I found an article about water jogging and how it burns about 2x the amount of calories as traditional jogging. So I strapped 3lbs weights around my ankles and jogged in the pool for about 60 minutes.

I wish I had more information to go on because about ten minutes (or less) into the activity, you (meaning me) start to feel like a total goof and wonder if you're doing it right. I was standing on the slope between the 3ft and the 5ft, keeping everything below my chin under water. About twenty minutes into the "workout" it occurred to me that the only people I've ever seen doing water aerobics were seniors and I cannot remember seeing any of them looking particularly fit. More on this later.

I could go on into further detail discussing my workout but it would be incredibly boring for anyone to read. As a basic record of the events:
1 mile walk
20 laps
60 minutes water jogging
20 leg lifts in the water
11:33 mile running time ( I felt like death afterwards...but that 10 minute goal is getting closer every day.)


You might think that reading about someone's workout could be the most boring topic imaginable. You would be wrong. The most boring topic to read/hear about is the description of someone else's nightmares. Once again, I will save you from the details. For the record I will just say that I have been having some seriously frightening dreams lately. Maybe if they continue I'll start to log them, after all no one is forcing you to read this.

Which brings me to another point. Is it egotistical of me to think that I have captured an audience? I've linked my blog to my facebook and so I'd imagine that once or twice a friend, or perhaps a facebook stalker, has checked in on my little corner of the web. If that's the case, if I do have an audience, please utilize the comment feature. Stay anonymous if you prefer, but please feel free to express an opinion on my blogs. Even corrections of my grammatical errors are appreciated, as I'm using this venue as a tool to improve my writing. If no one comments, I will assume I'm in the deep dark shadows of the Internet. My blog will probably become even more boring, with less concern for those who are reading, and it will probably include more mundane details.

This has been a pretty long post so I'll cut it off here.

Until next time.... Bonne nuit et bons rêves.

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Forgive me if I stutter.

Today was a very long day. I had an accounting test to cram for and spent 8am to 10:30pm with my textbook and flashcards. I haven't worked out at all in the past two days. I really wanted to today but I just didn't have the time. While I'm in the confessional, I also ate a lot of raw cookie dough. It was brain food. Tomorrow I'm getting back on task. Only one week left of this course. I got an 86 on the test today, so now there's almost no chance of getting an A in the class. Which means my gpa will drop, but; I think I'm okay with that. I'm sleepy. Going to take a bubble bath, listen to Jack Johnson, Michael Buble and the like, and ease myself to sleep.

Tomorrow...running...swimming..crunching...galore.

Goodnight all.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Breaking the fast

My facebook fast ends tonight. In fact I will probably sign-in as soon as I've finished typing this post. I think that I've accomplished a lot this week. I exercised every day. I've put together a completed list of the schools I'm going to apply to. [I wish I could think of a way to rearrange that sentence so that it doesn't end in the word "to."] I studied, somewhat. I listened to about 4 hours worth of Joyce Meyer's tapes. I also started a sparkpeople account. Its a little unsettling to think that people can just sign on and see what I'm eating each day and how much I'm exercising each day. However; my worries are put to rest when I think about the reality that I will probably not regularly update my account information. I've linked my page into the sidebar.

Oh and as for the book I'm reading... Katherines... it's not so hot. Granted that it is a juvenile fiction book, but its just too childish. It's light and in the vain of Roma Beasley books, with a bit more profanity and teen angst. Full report when I'm finished.

...off to facebook...

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

2nd ATTEMPT: RE: Nascar T-shirt Givaway Recipient

I spent all of yesterday looking at schools. It was an incredibly stressful process. Here's what I'm looking for:

Arts Administration Program
Arts Management Program
Business Management with a minor in Theatre


Any of those will do. I'm also looking for extreme generosity on the part of the institution.

Here's the short list:

Ithaca
DePaul
Purchase
College of Charleston


Aside from financial aid, I'm also looking at credit transferability. I'm stressed because I'm trying to decide what courses to take this fall, based on the programs at these other schools.

OOooooh it's soo annoying. I also just found out that if I get a B in this accounting class, it will actually bring my GPA down.


As for the title of this post. It's based on an email I got. I find several elements of the statement funny, but I'll let you dissect it.

......(The information below is simply some notes on schools. I don't want to lose it, so I'm posting it here.).........

DePaul
GPA: 3.40
SFR: 16:1
FAR: 68
Tuition: 23,820 +9,955+1,000+574=35,349
Giftaid: 13,343

Ithaca
GPA:
SFR:11:1
FAR:81
Tuition: 28,670 + 10,728 + 1,005=40,403
Giftaid: 15,749

College of Charleston
GPA: 3.82
SFR: 13:1
FAR: 75
Tuition: 18,732+8,495+999+2,013+926=31,165
Giftaid: 2944


Berry
GPA: 3.65
SFR: 12:1
FAR:
Tuition: 18,950+ 7,164+ 900=27,014
Giftaid: 12,508

Catawba
GPA: 3.37
SFR: 15:1
FAR: 83
Tuition: 22,290+7,700+800=30,790
Giftaid: 4,422